My husband and I are due with our second child, and first girl, on December 29th, and we have some concerns about names that we’d like to address.
Okay, so we decided on the name Phoebe Amanda almost immediately after we found out we were expecting. We loved the name.. everything was perfect. But I switched jobs about three months ago, and have since encountered a very nasty co-worker who’s name is Amanda. So, as you can imagine, I don’t really want to use Amanda anymore.
Now about three years ago, while I was pregnant with my son, my cousin, Monica, passed away. We were very close when we were kids, so I really wanted to honor her, but as we were having a boy, we couldn’t. (We aren’t the type of people who count using Bianca as a name to honor Fiona, because they have the same meaning. We’d like to use the actual name.) But we decided on Phoebe Amanda so quickly, and it was set, and we didn’t want to change it. But now we definitely aren’t using Amanda, so we’ve decided to use Phoebe Monica.
Why am I writing, if we’ve already chosen a name, you ask? Well I have three concerns that I was hoping I could get some input on.
1. Our last name begins with an S. I’m worried that Phoebe will get teased for her initials in school.. it seems like the kind of thing junior high boys would have a fit about. I had unfortunate initials myself (my name is Beverly, and my maiden name starts with an O, so I had to go through junior high enduring jokes like “Bev has BO!” and it was not a great experience.) Yes, so I’m worried about the PMS thing. Is that a big deal?
2. Phoebe and Monica are both Friends characters. It may not seem like that big of a deal, but
3. Our three year old son is named Russell. We call him Russ. Russ is very close to Ross, another Friends character. I am a bit of a Friends fanatic, but I swear (really!) it wasn’t intentional. Is this too much?
I’m having all sorts of second thoughts! I need feedback please
Ooo, what interesting questions! I'll give my opinions, and then everyone else can give theirs too so you can get a feel for general reactions.
1. For me, initials spelling PMS would be a dealbreaker. I know a lot of people don't mind, but I strongly dislike initials that spell things, and especially negative things.
2. It wouldn't bother me that Phoebe and Monica were both on the television show Friends, even though you have a Russ. I think Russ and Ross are different enough, and also your daughter will mostly be known by her first name without her middle name so that will reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. I have one child with a name that is known almost exclusively from a television show, and even so it's only come up twice in the child's whole life. Both times, the person said, "Oh, like on ____?" and I looked blank and said no, following it with an explanation of how we DID choose it.
One thing you could do to reduce the impact of all these concerns is add one more name: Phoebe ___ Monica S. or Phoebe Monica ___ S., though I recommend the first option since programs that only accept three initials will take the first of the two middle initials. Do you have any other girl names that you like but not enough to reserve them for a future girl name? Maybe another family name? This gives her different initials and dilutes the effect of the Phoebe/Monica combination.
You could also save the name Monica for a possible future girl.
Name update 01-10-2010! Bev writes:
Our daughter was born healthy as a horse on December 28th (8 lbs 3 oz, 21 inches). Thank you to you and to all the commenters.. the advice was extremely helpful. We decided on the suggestion of adding another middle to eliminate the initials problem. Her name is Phoebe Monica Grace. Thank you so so much.