My husband and I are expecting our second & final child, a boy, on September 26th and we can't seem to settle on a name. I am hoping you and your readers could help us out because there are so many Issues with naming this child that it is making my head spin.
Issue the First:
Initially we had assumed that if this child was a boy we would use either one of two names
Leo Joseph, named for both of our grandfathers, both deceased
Simon Edward, named for both of our fathers.
I truly love BOTH these names. However....our last name is Anselmo. I cannot decide if I love Leo enough to overlook double O endings. As for Simon Edward....I'm fearful that there would be Hurt Feelings over this one. For one, his father's name is actually Eduardo (Portuguese). For another, his father's name would be "only" the middle name and my father's would be first and I can see my MIL getting in quite a tizzy over that.
Issue the Second:
Our daughter's name is Madeleine Danielle. (Only Madeleine...never Maddie) She is not named for any family members. I feel like it is weird to use a family name for one child but not the other. But we have lots of really nice male names in the family and terrible female ones.
Issue the Third:
I do not love Madeleine's name. It was on a list of about ten that I was okay with naming her that I, frustrated with Hubs, gave to him to choose from. It was not my favourite. I will feel a bit resentful if this child also winds up with a name I feel kind of "meh" about.
Issue the Fourth:
This is the BIG Issue for me....our little boy's in utero nickname is Fred. We have all been calling him Fred since before we knew he was a boy, even. Now I actually LOVE the name Frederick (the in utero nickname came about partly because my family mocked me SO mercilessly for saying I liked Frederick). My husband most decidedly does not like it. I have no problem compromising on names but there are currently no frontrunners and so Fred is still Fred and I am worried I will not be able to call him anything else soon.
Our short list is currently Nathaniel, Leo, Simon, Felix, Desmond and Donovan.
My husband likes Felix best, which is weird since that's not his naming style at all.
I don't mind Felix terribly but am not crazy about it either. My favourite name so far has been, sadly, Frederick.
I also really, really love Elliott but hubs vetoed that one.
Other names that have been vetoed are Jeremy, Isaac, Ezra, Isaiah, Oliver, Henry and Jean Luc. They were all names I LOVE but DH doesn't. He has never suggested a name therefore NO names he loves are on the veto list.
Um, what else? Oh...if this baby had been a second daughter we would have likely named her Natalie.
I will give you a clue as to how dire the situation is: our daughter has long insisted a baby boy should be called Matthew. Neither Hubs nor I hate it but neither of like that it is so common either. We are, however, so absolutely tired of discussing baby names that we have seriously considered letting the FIVE YEAR OLD name the baby.
(If we choose a name that doesn't automatically come with a middle name ie Leo, Simon, I'd like to use Matthew as a middle name)
Sorry for the novel. But there are just so many things BOTHERING me about naming this baby and I really wanted you to have all the info. Thank you so much for your help.
OH! A fellow fan of Frederick! I reallllly like that name. Two of the names on my own list are Simon Frederick and Oliver Frederick.
We need to summon your husband. Call him over. Here is his assignment: he needs to give serious thought to his family, since he's the one who knows them best, and he needs to tell us if, for example, his parents might be happier with no namesake at all rather than a middle/changed name namesake. Some parents would go one way on this and some would go another. And Simon Frederick Anselmo would be a terrific name, and would let you have Frederick and even still call him Fred sometimes as a nickname. And it's a pleasing naming story.
Which grandfather is your husband's, Leo or Joseph? Another option would be to use that as the middle name instead of Edward. Simon Leo, or Simon Joseph. Then instead of one father getting higher billing than the other, it's the nearer generation ranking over the farther---and yet still one name from each side of the family. (Plus, let's remember that the surname is from your husband's side of the family.)
Another option is to use Eduardo instead of Edward. It may grow on you with time, and it may improve the situation with the in-laws. Simon Eduardo Anselmo. In that case, it could be argued that "Eduardo Anselmo" is more than half the name and also both your father-in-law's names, so it's nicely balanced with just one of your father's names in the first-name position. You could even have your husband frame it that way: "We named him Simon Eduardo Anselmo---Eduardo Anselmo after you, dad, and Simon after Barbara's dad." Plus, that arrangement of names avoids any confusion there might have been if there were two Eduardo Anselmos in the family.
I think it's okay to have one child with family names and the other without, though I feel the same way you do about it. We have a similar situation in our family, with all four of the boys having one family name, and two of the boys ALSO having the names of friends of ours, and our girl having no family or friend names. I thought it would bother me, but it only bothers me a little teeny bit, and only when I'm telling someone my kids' names and I'm saying "Rob, after my grandfather; William, after Paul's grandfather; Elizabeth....after nobody, we just liked the name...." and so on. But a lot of the time I'm just listing the names ("Rob, William, Elizabeth...") and it's not an issue anyway. AND, I do think that culturally it's understandable if a boy is named for family and a girl isn't, irritating as that tradition may be.
I like these three as finalists: Simon Frederick, Simon Leo/Joseph, and Simon Eduardo.